How to Scare a Yami
by weiss kittyn
Summary: a series of oneshots, as the title suggests, of ways the yamis could be scared. there IS some language in here, so if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, don't read.
1. Bakura 1

How to Scare a Yami

by weiss kittyn

Bakura - One

It was a beautiful day for an outing, and the hikari's decided that it would also make a good day for a trip to the beach. Yami, Marik, and Bakura, never having gone to The Beach, were almost as excited about it as their lights. Marik wandered over to Malik, grinning.

"I think I like this beach idea. All those bikini-clad women..." His grin became lecherous. "What are we going to wear?"

Yugi pulled off his shirt. "I've brought my extra pairs of swimming trunks, and Ryou said he would, too."

Ryou piped up. "I looked all over the place, but all I could find was... IT..."

Yugi paled. "So which one of them will get... IT...?"

White hair swished around brown eyes. "We'll have them draw straws. It's the only FAIR way to decide." Ryou sounded melancholy at the thought of IT.

"Very well..." Yugi sounded resigned. Sighing, he pulled three straws from his duffel bag, and cut them. One, he cut shorter. He lined them up in his hand so that they were all equal, and the shortest couldn't be discerned from the two longer ones. He bade the yami's take one each. 

The yamis, all expecting the straws to spontaneously combust in their hands, delicately took one.

Ritualistically, Yugi intoned, "Bakura, let me see."

Bakura swallowed,a nd tried to keep his fear from showing on his face. /I am a brave tomb robber, I am a brave tomb robber, I AM a BRAVE tomb robber/ He showed his straw to Yugi, discreetly, and nearly let out a whoop of relief as Yugi's face broke into a smile.

"Go see Ryou," Bakura was waved on. "Marik, show me your straw."

Marik stepped forward. /Psychos do not shake. Psychos do not shake. Psychos do not-/ He was trembling as he flashed Yugi the straw. Yugi grinned, and Marik breathed an audible sigh of relief. He was waved on to Ryou. Yugi turned back to Yami, a stern look on his face. Yami showed his straw, all the while thinking /I'm a dead man. I'm a dead man. I'm a dead man.../

"Yami, I am SO sorry. I was kinda hoping Marik would get stuck with IT."

"What is... IT...?"

"...This." Yami's eyes went wide.

Outside, Bakura and Marik were admiring eachother and their lights. 

"Ryou, I had no idea you were so pale. You need to get out more."

"Marik, your ass is FINE in those shorts!"

"I know. Malik, you don't burn do you?"

"I do. I'm gonna need sunblock."

Yugi interrupted by clearing his throat. Yami had a towel wrapped around him, and he was peeking out from the dressing room.

"This isn't DECENT, Yugi!'

"Come ON, Yami. It is to decent."

The other four gathere around, the two yami's dying to see what had befallen their fellow egyptian.

Yami walked out cautiously, clutching the towel around his waist like a lifeline.

Yugi and Ryou looked at eachother, then pounced the hapless Pharaoh, ripping the towel off.

Malik stared. Marik laughed.

Bakura screamed.

"MY EYES! THEY BURN! I'M BLIND!"

Yami blushed all the way to his stomach, the form-fitting speedo revealing all.

How to scare Bakura? Seeing Yami in a speedo.

END

I forget where this idea was spawned from. Yami Kitsune and I were up late one night, talking, and it just sprung up like a weed. So far, there are fifteen planned installments, though not all are written yet. Any suggestions for more are entire welcome, and if I use your idea, a chapter will be dedicated to you. They're all one series, but they are also one shots that can be read seperately and understood, without reading the whole thing. The pattern goes, Bakura, Marik, Yami, and they have five stories each (so far). I'm gonna beg here... PLEASE review! and if you have a suggestion, leave it! - i may use it! 


	2. Marik 1

How to Scare a Yami II

by weiss kittyn

Marik One

"MARIK!" 

Malik awoke to irritated screaming. "MAARIIK!" He blinked. Isis? What was wrong with her now? "Goddammit, Marik!"

Oh shit.

His door opened and closed quickly, and quietly. He sat up, his blankets pooling around his waist; they covered him, but barely. "Marik?"

Marik turned, his normally dark complexion as white as powder. "Shh! I'm not here!" He slipped into Malik's closet. Seconds later, Isis stormed in. 

"MALIK! Get your lazy ass out of bed, and help me look for Marik! Have you seen him? Is he in here?"

It was Malik's turn to go pale. "N-no, Isis. Why?"

She glared for a moment, then burst into tears and left. Marik cautiously exited Malik's closet.

"Is she gone?" he whispered. Malik nodded. 

"What'd you DO? She's ready to KILL you!" His voice was pitched to a stage whisper.

"Left the toilet seat up." His voice was the same, neither willing to risk the tornado of fury coming back. 

"Ah. PMS?" Nod.

"MALIK!" 

How to scare Marik? Isis her period.  
END

Here's Marik's frightening episode with near death experiences. Think he'll learn his lesson? 


	3. Yami 1

How to Scare a Yami III

by Yami Bakura

Yami One

Yami-Yugi Mouto awoke to birds singing, and lovely warm sunshine. Smiling, he sat up, and looked around. Yugi wasn't in the room. This was unusual, but not unheard of. He heard a chuckle from somewhere, and got up. He debated about putting a shirt on, then decided against it. His pajama pants were more than enough for just wandering around the house in. He went into the bathroom, looking for Yugi.

Nothing.

By the time he'd searched the entire house, he was worried. Yugi was nowhere to be found, and he hadn't left a note, either. There was just one place left to look, and he hated to go there. Still, maybe Yugi was down there. Yami shuddered with revulsion.

The basement. A dark, damp place of unimaginable horrors.

Yami heard another chuckle, and a muffled shout. Yugi!

Fear of small, dark places or not, Yugi was down there! And he sounded like he was in trouble! Yami raced down the stairs.

The room was lit faintly by two dim-lamps set on low. Two shadowy figures had a hold of each of Yugi's arms. Yugi struggled weakly. Yami found he was paralyzed with fear for his light, so much so that he couldn't even call out to him through their link.

/Yugi/ His heart was pounding so hard, he was surprised they couldn't hear it.

A previously unseen Shadow appeared, something glinting dully in his hand. A knife.

Yami started hyperventilating, quietly. How to get Yugi out safely, without harming anyone? Lightheaded, he swayed on his feet. /Yugi…./ He passed out cold, falling flat on his face.

On the other side of the room, the three shadows took off their masks, revealing Joey, Tristan, and Duke Devlin.

"Guys… I think we ought to explain the idea of LARPing DnD to Yami…"

How to scare Yami? Threaten Yugi. -

END

LARP: Live Action Role Play. For those of you who don't know, LARPing is just roleplaying (like Whitewolf, or DND) only acted out, instead of played on a table top. 

DnD: for the secluded ones, DnD is a role playing game played with dice and books. Its short for Dungeons and Dragons.


	4. Bakura 2

How to Scare a Yami IV

by Yami Bakura

Bakura - Two

Bakura slammed in through the front door. Everything that could have gone wrong, did, and it had put him in a FOUL mood.

"RYOU! Where the HELL are you?"

What he needed now was a good hot shower to drive away the chill of the rain, and a gew minutes pounding his stupid weak light into the ground.

He wrung the water from his hair, and started towards the shower, stripping as he walked.

He turned the hot water on as high as it would go, and stepped under the scalding spray. He heard the door open and close gently, and then Ryou's soft voice.

"Yes, Bakura-sama?"

For some reason, this only served to anger Bakura more. Furiously, he ripped open the shower curtain.

Ryou was wearing a pair of boxers that hung low on his hips. There was a bruise forming on his ribs, and his eye was black from their scuffle that morning.

"Where the hell have you been?" Bakura roared.

"I was in my room, you asshole!" Bakura blinked as Ryou scowled.

"What?"

"You heard me, you punk. Take your damn shower!"

Bakura felt his eyes go wide in surprise. Not sure what else to do, he swung at his until-now useless light.

Ryou caught his fist easily, and retaliated by kneeing him in the stomach, and then punching him in the jaw.

"Get the hell out of here." Ryou growled. Bakura hurried into the first piece of clothing he found, his rain-damp boxers, and, deciding that would be a good time for a walk, hauled ass.

How to scare Bakura? Ryou fights back!

END

Hehe. They'll get better after this. I promise. (poor Marik…)


End file.
